Changing Tides

I have been a republican all of my voting life. The philosophy of the party has made sense to me more than the democrat side. For a  while, I was an evangelical and more conservative, listening to Rush Limbaugh and conservative talk radio. I believed in the "cause" more than ever. Liberals were an obvious threat to the American way of life and had to be stopped. It seemed a common-sense no brainer and for the time being, liberalism seemed to be held at bay. There was the Clinton administration, it had its issues. But George W. Bush was going to set us right again. Unfortunately, it took 9/11 to rally the troops, Washington seemed to pull together for a while and stand against a common threat.

Time passed. Our involvement in the middle east became "normal" after we invaded Iraq. In  2005-6 our family left our evangelical church. I found myself having to rethink my outlook on life, my 'moral compass' and what was really important to me apart from what evangelicalism said. What am I by myself? What matters to me? What do I care about?

It took me a while, I began to figure out that I could exist by myself and realize what mattered to me apart from a religious organization. For a while, it was terrifying, being alone, and having to figure this all out on your own.  Some things I knew and some I didn't. But after a while, I found a balance. At least one that worked for me.

Barak Obama's presidency reminded me I was still basically conservative. I would listen to Rush Limbaugh and watch fox news from time to time just to keep up. I was finding my appetite for political things was becoming limited. All the talk and fretting was wearisome, I had to get away more and more.

When the 2016 election came I couldn't believe the choice we had, two of the worst people to run for president. I could not vote for either candidate, and I didn't. I, like a lot of other people, thought H was going to win and that'd be that. But D won, to my surprise and dismay. Since then, it has been four years of disbelief, day by day. 

I am tempted to vote democratic just to get D out of office. But when my annoyance about him gets to the level of hatred, I stop and think that all politicians are prone to corruption. Basically, when I hear about the bad things that D does as a republican, the democrats have their own version of it too. The devil you know vs the devil you don't doesn't apply. They're both devils and "buyers remorse" is built-in. Why bother voting any more. What's the point?

So that's where I'm at right now.