Things going on

Some time has gone by and I've had some time to think about things. As you know I was laid off from my driving instructor job. It just so happened that I was having second thoughts about it myself. So I guess it all worked out anyway.

I've been putting out applications at some different places, mostly dealing with retail, which is where I did a lot my early work so I'm familiar with the routine. I've been working a bit more on my photography, that's been fun.

I've also found a way to set up my best photos to try and sell them and get paid via PayPal. Actually you can do quite a few things at this place. It's called Freewebs.com. I'll keep you posted on how things go. Right now I'm cautiously optimistic.

Thanksgiving went pretty well, had the relatives over to our house because we have the most room for everybody. On Thanksgiving I was doing some last minute shopping, like so many other people, and I noticed that they turned up the volume on the Christmas music. Before I could hear it faintly in the background. Hmmm.

I think they're pushing the season real hard this year because there are so many bad things going on they have to work extra hard to get peoples attention.

I don't know if it is just me or did it take forever to get to the end of November? December will probably go real fast.

Happy Shopping!

Parenting Rewards

Before I tackle my main topic, I would like to address the issue of the previous post, work and such. In my quest for 'quick work', that is work that can be done without a lot of prep or being hired and such, I have come back to an old favorite of portrait photography. I've got the equipment and skills (technically). The thing that I lack is enough confidence and successful marketing. In this case it seems like I will have to muster determination and apply the saying of; If you don't succeed at first, try, try again. More on this later.

Now to the main topic. One of the early rewards of parenting are the smiles, giggles and laughter that one inevitably sees and hears in the early years of child-rearing. Children like to play and have fun. Being a major contributor to creating an environment where they can play and have fun safely is a great reward. For me when my kids were little , that was my my goal as a parent, to give them that safe happy environment. It wasn't the physical surroundings like house and neighborhood, it was the emotional surroundings. They knew Mom and Dad were okay and would love and protect them. Being a part of their play and laughter was key too, serious bonding going on here.

As they got older I was always there for them, involved in their world through elementary and middle school right up to high school. All the sports, and plays and family activities, I was there as much as I could be. Occasionally I would miss something for work but my heart was always with the family. Being there was easier for me than some as I never got far up any corporate ladder. Anyway, the older the kids got I never let myself feel afraid that they'd find out I was human and flawed. Actually, I did think of that from time to time, but I didn't let it stop me from interacting with them. I say that because I suspect that it is a temptation with a lot of men. Stay with them Dads!

When your children are older you still need to bond with them and maintain it. Be their best friend, do things together. When girls get older they won't need to find boyfriends until later, and boys will have a healthy role model as to what a man is and does. Also you will see them flourish in the things they love whether it's sports, music, theater, arts, whatever it is, you can remember that you gave them than environment to flourish in. That can be more satisfying than anything done for a corporation and can last a whole lot longer, generations longer.

A Change of Plans

It seems that my vocation may be changing in the near future. The driver ed company I worked for is going through a re-structuring, or reorganization of some sort. This involves trimming the staff and so I will be laid off at the end of the year.

I wondered about something like that because I have been getting less and less hours. Making me think about looking to a different vocation anyway. Right now I don't know what that is but I will definitively keep you posted.

In the mean time I thought I might try and perk thing up around here by maybe adding a few appropriate photos or something.

The Parental Marathon

Having kids is the first step. I remember being scared of all the things that could go wrong before the birth. When the birth is over and everyone id fine, such elation and relief.

Then the marathon begins, keeping up with the behaviors, learning the language and trying to get enough rest. My wife read books and articles on child development so we knew what was coming. That helped an awful lot. My biggest concern was to make sure that they were happy. I didn't want to have them worrying at all about things at home. That was to be a safe haven, a refuge from the outside world.

Having two daughters I learned that my presence and involvement in their lives was very important. My wife and I would teach them about the world, I would teach them about all things men. To do that I would 1) have to be there. Be involved, engaged, an active part of their lives. Do things with them, go places and communicate with them. 2) somehow put aside my fears, anxieties and self-doubts and lead by example. They would observe and 'catch' what being a man meant by watching me day to day.

Dads, if you are there for your daughters, be there in body and mind. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Mistakes will happen, just keep going. Be involved in their world. Let them know you love them unconditionally and they are important to you. Giving them that knowledge will carry them far in life. When you give them the love they need growing up, they won't go looking for it from another man when they're older.

I hope this is an encouragement along the way.

Automobile Visibility

This is a topic that has popped in my head from time to time. Mostly because I see it when I'm driving. That is people not using their headlights when they should;

1. between sunset and sunrise - even before the sun goes down below the horizon, sometimes it can get pretty dark in some situations, heavily shaded areas. You're safer if you're seen.
2. any unfavorable atmospheric condition; rain, fog, snow. One day I was out and there were snow squalls, I saw someone driving a white van with no headlights. A snowsquall hit and he disappeared withing 50 feet of me!
3. any situation where you can't see beyond 1000 feet clearly. Even at 35mph you're covering a lot of ground.

One last thing; sometimes your car color can make it difficult for other drivers to see you in certain situations. A dark car on a dark road in shade, or a light colored car on a concrete highway can be hard to spot by some other drivers. Remember, not everyone is paying attention like they should.

All kidding aside, let's not meet by accident.

Common Sense for Driving

This will be a brief introduction for my future posts on driving. Suffice it to say that I have seen my share of strange things on the road. For ten years I have driven professionally (local livery) and now am a driving instructor. I still see strange things.

If I could make a suggestion to the on road community it would be this; use your turn indicators. I love driving behind someone when they suddenly slow down for no reason, only to turn off the road somewhere. Folks, I can't read your mind. Plus it would protect you by making you more visible. If I'm driving along and I'm distracted or zoned out, your blinking turn signal might catch my attention and I'd be able to slow down in time. Otherwise I might rear-end you.

Just a little something to think about from your friendly road warrior.

Our Children

By "our children", I mean it collectively, as in all our children. Recently, I was helping out our daughter by getting signatures for a National Honors Society application. She was invited to join, yea, she's that good. The people I got the signatures from all said nice things about her and wished her well. It felt good to know that she had a positive effect on people. Her life is so different from mine, academically and personally.

When I was growing up I had issues that kept me from fulfilling my potential. Family issues that impacted me and caused me emotional pain on a subconscious level. Pain that I tried to mask with sex, drugs and rock n' roll. As far as school went, I was there because I had to be and I did what I had to to get by, and I got by, that was it. College was pretty much the same thing, just get through.

Since I've gotten married and had children, I've had a lot of time to reflect on my life. I've noticed some patterns and made some decisions in regards to child raising. The main one being that I would give my kids what I didn't get. By this time I had talked to a few therapists and realized some things about my life. One, that a lot of my issues started when I was really little with the decisions my parents made about raising me and two, I didn't want my kids to have those issues in there lives.

What I did want was for them to grow up happy and secure. That decision would take and did take a lot of love, attention, and interaction. For the next eighteen years I did all that I could to make sure they knew they were loved and had nothing to worry about at home. It worked, today, they are well adjusted and doing well, much better than I did at that age with a wonderful world of possibilities ahead of them.

If there's one thing I want to say in this post it's that parenting takes a lot of energy and active involvement. Be there for your children. They really want you more than toys and things. Time with Mom & Dad are the precious moments that will last forever.